Kickin' it old school with my thirty five

I still have the original receipt from Cameraland dated 12/1/98.  It was my first real camera that was a surprise gift from my boyfriend, now husband.  It was a Nikon FM10 35mm manual focus film camera.  Yes, the actual kind that you put the roll of film in.  It has been a while since I shot with a completely manual camera.   I decided to go buy some film and kick it old school.  It truly was funny for me to go to the store and purchase a roll of film.  As I was awkwardly trying to remember how to load in the cumbersome film, the feeling of I better make these count because I only have 24 exposures, popped into my head.   It was in a very desperate, disturbing sort of way.     When you use a digital camera the number of images are seemingly endless.  Normally with my current digital SLR camera I can shoot 24 pictures in a matter of seconds.  Side note:  I remember when there were no cell phones, you had to actually look up information from a book, cars with A-Track players, Atari, my first Walkman weighing 10lbs and the size of a brick and really,who can forget Star Search?   So when did I become so sophisticated?  The whole idea was very amusing for me.   It was very nice to slow down and get a little nostalgic at the same time.  Unfortunately my subjects for the day don't really slow down, EVER.   This recipe made for a step outside my comfort zone but well worth it.  I think leaving our comfort zone is the only way we force ourselves to become better and push ourselves from staying in the same spot.  I have to admit I kept looking for the review button on my camera and chuckled every time I did it, which I won't say how many times I actually did.  I am so used to reviewing my shots on my SLR to see what I have and to make sure I have something worthwhile before I move onto the next.  In this case with the 35mm you have to wait until you develop it.  What?   In this whole process I also realized how impatient and instantaneous I can be (just ask the guy who brought me the camera). Overall it was a really fun experience.   Below are some of the shots I came away with.  I also came away with a better understanding that moving backwards doesn't always mean taking something away.  It can mean revisiting the archives in our lives and reminding us that everything along the way is defining of the present day.     In my book it is always a good thing to eat a slice of humble pie every once in a while. 

   

I love the ethereal colors that real film produces.

 The grain of real film can be duplicated on digital but it there is something special about the real deal.

                            I love this old school "80's"look.  This one reminds me of my childhood pictures.

 Although I  didn't get what I expected with this one it still can be a very interesting photo, I kind of like it!

Sweet dreams little man.....

This was the first picture I ever took of my son.  It was snapped from my hospital bed minutes after he was born.   Even though I was physically exhausted  I asked the nurse to pass my camera.  It is an image I will never forget.  If there are any, this is the one that always comes into my mind at the best of times and the worst.  Even though we may infinitely remember the profound times in our life, details will always fade after time.  I am so happy that I caught this moment on camera.  These are the moments that are most important in life.  My husband and my son were introducing themselves to one another.   My heart melted and all the hours that I just labored instantly melted with it.  My heart skipped a beat and another beat and another....

Today my little bundle celebrated his 4th birthday.  Recently we have been instructed that his name is Kolin and not bubba, ouch that really hurt. We just sort of say okay (wink,wink).   It is hard to let go of the things that we would be more than happy to just remain the same.

your sense of adventure and energy...

your unwavering curiosity and endless questions...

your ice pop faces and deep belly laughs...

and most of all because your you and that is all we will ever want you to be.

Tonight I finished reading one of Kolin's favorite books Where the Wild Things Are.   The first line in the book goes, "The night Max wore his wolf suit and made mischief of one kind and another."  This line comes to life in our house in one way or another what seems to be every minute of the day.   I finished the book, kissed him goodnight and the tears just welled up in my eyes.   It was unexpected but I cannot imagine why.  This happens to me at every birthday.  Time seems to just creep up and take away my little man as each year goes by.   The first picture in this post was exactly the one that flashed in my mind at that moment.  Then the faucet was turned on.  It still feels like yesterday. 

 Happy 4th Birthday Kolin!  Although one day you will be bigger than us, you will always be our little bubba.